No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
