I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
