I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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