My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
