So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
