if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
