I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
