I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
