I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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