hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
