maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
