my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
