he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
