matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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