I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
