I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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