Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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