do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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