How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
