garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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