just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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