if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
