My room smells like vodka and shame
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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