And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
