There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
