wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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