Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
