Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
bring money and cleavage
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
