I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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