That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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