her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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