shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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