Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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