i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
