Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
