dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
