You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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