gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
