I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
