He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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