Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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