Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got inside last night via doggy door
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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