Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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