So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
