he thought i was a dude.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
