1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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