You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
