put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You took a bar mat shot.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
These tits shall not be calmed
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
