im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
