She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
