Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
