sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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