i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
